Today is the day for both the Last Line Blogfest hosted by Lilah Pierce and the Baking Scene Blogfest hosted by Charity Bradford. So, in true slacker efficient style, I have one entry for both.
This is a snippet of a scene from So97. This book is completely unlike anything I have ever done before and I am having a blast exploring it. I am not sure where this story is going yet, since it is still really new and fresh, but here’s a little look for ya!
“Wait. You did what?” Karissa spun on her heel and pointed her comb in my face. She had been standing in front of the mirror, fixing her make-up and hair, for the last twenty minutes. Now she stared at me, her patented you-better-spill-now-if-you-know-what’s-good-for-you look on her face.
“I – well, I invited West to go with us tonight.”
“West? West?! What, you already have a nickname for him?”
“Kris. He told me to call him that.”
“Whatever. Did you tell West that this outing is a ritual? A Karissa, Sam, and Rory ritual? A non-West ritual?”
I know I shouldn’t have argued with her. It is pointless to try to reason with Karissa once she gets on a roll. Still, I couldn’t help myself.
“Come on, it isn’t ritual. It’s just something we do. Besides, it’s never just the three of us. We always -”
“Oh my God! You totally want him! That’s why you are fighting so hard for this.” Now she had that I-am-so-onto-you look that makes her eyes all buggy.
“Why do you need that thing anyway?” I gestured to the comb in her hand, “your hair is only like an inch long.”
She jabbed the comb at me again. “Don’t try to change the subject here. You just want Weston to come because you want to hook up with him.”
“No, I invited him because I thought it would be nice. Just like it would be nice for you to step away from the mirror and help me out in here.”
Karissa crossed the room and looked over my shoulder at the cookie dough. She picked up a handful of chocolate chips and threw them into the bowl before returning to her place in front of the vanity. “There, I helped. Now, back to the subject.”
“Right. And that subject is?”
She stared at me. “We were talking about how badly you want Weston. You’re going to get laid tonight. I can see it in your eyes.”
I stood silent, stirring the chocolate chips into the cookie dough. Karissa was not completely unfounded with her accusation. In the past, she would have been absolutely right about the look on my face and the reason behind it. I used to sleep with a lot of guys, so what? I wasn’t like that anymore; I had changed. I had.
There you go. Be sure to check out the other entries!
18 Comments
I like the tension between the characters a lot, and the last line nicely sets up the character’s problem.
Ooh – sounds great! It really sounds like I’m eavesdropping on two teenage girls. Great job!
I really enjoyed this. I love how she threw the chocolate chips in and said that she helped.
Nice Job!
I wish I had been smart enough to combine the blogfests. Great job! I like the attitude from both characters. And I loved how Karissa tosses in the chocolate chips and is finished helping.
The last line makes me wonder, has she changed? What does she want? Very nice, it would keep me reading.
Like it! Leaves the question, has she? And the nick name “West”. I really, really like that. I’d like to read more, for sure.
This is great! I have to give you kudos for writing a baking scene, but what I love about this blurb is how natural it sounds, how the cookie dough is a stage that lets the characters run.
And in terms of a last line, holy crap. I giggled (and that’s even before my morning latte) when I got to “I had changed. I had.” Oh, I could just see the effort the mc was putting in to convince herself.
Excellent!
An interesting exchange. I want to know what the ritual outing is! And has she really changed? Nice job!
Very cool way to combine the blogfests. I really liked the fast paced dialogue and the chocolate chips.
Oh she so hasn’t changed at all. Great post
Awesome dialogue–so natural sounding and fluid. And you’ve given a vivid picture of who these girls are in such a short piece. Nicely done!
like carpet by the square foot. NO idea why I wrote that. Just seemed catchy five seconds ago. I would go back and delete it, but the back space button is so far away, and the dream of chocolate chip cookies is so close. Wasn’t it you that told me chocolate and sex release the same pheromones in the female brain? Maybe she is trying to replace sex drive with chocolate chips. Man, this is getting more random by the second. Loved the scene. It is seriously like a clip out of someone’s life.
Rachel-1, Blogfest- owned.
Yes indeed, I did tell you that. Also being scared does it too. So, take a girl to a scary movie and provide some chocolate – chemically, it is th perfect way to woo her.
Also, I am SO going to have to find a way to use “Getting laid like carpet by the square foot” someday.
I liked the way she was reasoning with herself in the last lines “I wasn’t like that anymore; I had changed. I had.” as if in all honesty she was more hoping that declaring.
I also loved how smoothly you combined the two blogfests in one scene! My one wasn’t that subtle…
That was a lot of fun. I liked the relationship that the two characters have. Very feisty and very close to each other, knowing all the patented looks and expressions
So, what happens next!?
Nice try.
You will read it soon enough.
Great idea combining the blogfests…duh, why didn’t I think of that? I like the action beats and gestures you throw into the arguments. They ring true.
I like the impression at the end that she’s trying to convince herself just as much as she would be trying convince her friend, if she tried to argue. I definitely am wondering what is going to happen with West!