You all know what I am talking about. Everyone has one. That one person who makes you look back and wonder: what if?
Towards the end of my high school career, and for a a couple years after graduation, there was this boy. He was interested in me, and he made no effort to hide that. My friends all knew it; I knew it, and, truth be told, I was interested in him as well (though I was not so open about my affection). But nothing ever happened between the two of us. We never went on a date, never held hands, never kissed.
When I look back and remember this boy, I can’t help but to wonder. What if we had dated? How would things be different today? Would we still be together? Would I have gone to massage school? Would I be writing books? What if?
Both this boy and I are now completely happy with our lives and the spouses we share life with. I don’t regret anything that has happened in my life or any of the choices I have made, but I still wonder sometimes.
This is just one more reason why I like writing (and particularly writing YA) so much. All of those what-ifs? I can take them and play out any scenario I want. The object of Jack’s affection (Jack the Reaper) is much like this boy I knew in high school. Only Jack handles things differently than I would have did, and she gets the boy.
With my writing, I can explore all those things I never explored when I was a teenager*. My characters have different experiences than I ever did, and through writing them, I can have those experiences as well.
*Let’s be honest here: I was a pretty boring teenager. I took a bunch of AP classes, was on the high kick team, and was an athletic trainer/basketball manager. Not much time left for “normal” teenage behavior. Not that I would trade my experience for anything; it is just nice to live vicariously through my characters and their different experiences as well.
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Boy, did I ever lose a magnificent one. Funny thing is, she was never really mine. We were great friends that had some awkward “is this a romantic moment?” moments. I have always played my true emotions very close to the chest, and so she never really knew, as far as I know. Long story short, she found a man that was much more obvious and open in his devotion. She is happily married, and I am content with her happiness. I have learned to quit playing emotions poker because of that experience, and have full confidence there is still love out there for me to reel in. Rather than live and learn, I have loved and learned. Hmmm…
Loved and learned. . . I like that phrase. And I am confident there is still love out there for you too. Get yourself a strong pole, ’cause sometimes the best ones are feisty and harder to reel in! But totally worth the work, I am sure.