Yes, yes, I know it is Wednesday. Teaser Tuesday is a little late, but, as they say, better late than never.
This is a little preview from Incubus. It is the first kissing scene I ever wrote, and while it is brief, I really like it still. I hope you enjoy reading Jayne’s first kiss as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Her heart jumped as she felt Blake’s hand brush lightly along her jaw line. Gently, cupping her cheek in his palm, he turned her face up to meet his. She felt herself melt into him as his lips lightly brushed hers. With the kiss, her fears and doubts left her. Feeling more confident, she laced her fingers through his hair and pulled her body closer to his. Her other hand felt its way to the side of his neck, where it rested against the warmth of his pulse.
It is still rough, and will be tweaked in edits, but Teaser Tuesday is not about perfection. Today, you get a little glimpse of something organic–the first draft of my writing. And in reading a first draft, you get to see where I struggle as a writer–notice the two (yeah, not one, but TWO) instances of passive writing in that little bitty paragraph? It is something I struggle with in first drafts. And edit a LOT in second (and third…) drafts.
Luckily, as I was writing Jack the Reaper, I learned a nice little trick to help with the passive voice problem: first person present tense. It is difficult to be passive when the action is immediate and urgent. Jack was my first foray into the world of FPPT, and I love it. It is a great first drafting tool.
Not every story I come up with is conducive to FPPT. Some need to have a third person point of view, and some are better off told in a close past tense. But FPPT is a great way to get the urgency across in a first draft, no matter what the point of view and tense of the final product will be.
Wait. Doesn’t writing an entire novel in a POV and tense make for a huge job when edits roll around? Well, yes. But so does having a full novel of passive voice to fix. Let’s face it: edits are a lot of work. I just choose what work I will be focusing on.
And now I choose to do film buying work (yanno, the work I am actually being paid to be doing as I blog).
2 Comments
Written tenses are barbwire fences. They must be mended, arduously and repeatedly.
Hahaha! Your name makes me laugh so hard!